Heading nowhere,
Found myself there.
Looks familiar,
Like I still were
Where I was. I’m
Here again. Time,
Though it’s moving,
Finds me looping,
Stuck, unmoving,
Not improving.
My direction:
Slow regression.
Progress round me
Strides without me.
Watching, aching,
Not partaking.
Of God-given,
Freely bidden,
Good desires,
Naught transpires.
Plans keep failing,
Body’s ailing,
Dulled in state and
Enervated,
Fog invading,
Permeating
My existence
With persistence.
Trains derail be-
Fore they lately
Leave the station —
More cessation.
Signal’s lost in
All the harsh din.
Strain is rising
(Unsurprising),
E’er in season
For no reason.
Though conflicted,
Since afflicted,
Retreat sounded,
Ties confounded.
View a murky
Haze obscuring,
Bog ensuring
Languid footing.
Output slowing,
Use is going,
Dwindling into
Ineptitude.
Years continue.
Nothing here’s new.
Why’s unanswered —
Rather standard.
Will it always
Be like these days?
O my Lord, I
See not well! My
Heart does sometimes
In these confines
Spot no purpose,
Lose its courage.
Through the darkness,
Soon I marked this —
Heav’n replying:
“Why the sighing?
Know you not? The
End for which, see,
You’re created’s
Clearly stated
In the Scriptures.
The inscription’s
‘For my glory!’
You’re made for me,
My hands forming
Your life’s story.
Though the present
Feels unpleasant,
This refining’s
My designing.
Now’s prescription
Is affliction.
Trial’s furnace
Is a service
That you render
For my splendor.
Own your lot, for
I am God! For
My own sake, I
Do it! Day by
Day all gov’rning,
Lord of all things,
O’er it reigning,
Glory gaining,
Worlds sustaining,
Time maintaining.
By me sent is
Each event, its
End arranging
In unchanging,
Secret, hidden,
Perfect wisdom.
O my child,
Think a while;
Am I worthy?
Do you trust me?”
Earthward bowing,
Worship ’vowing,
Recognizing
Magnifying
God — no higher
Aim transpires.
Place accepting,
Not objecting,
Plans submitting
To his bidding,
Truly, it is
Not in man his
Way and steps to
Walk, direct, who
Is himself a
Creature helpless.
God in Heaven
Plans my steps, and
Think I can then
Understand them?
This all pond’ring,
Came awed wond’ring.
Look, my soul, at
“This I know, that
God is for me.”
See! God’s glory,
My good, meeting —
Sweetest greetings!
All that finds me
Will entire be
Purpose suited,
As deputed,
For maintaining
And attaining
Both objectives —
No exceptions!
How he’s mindful
Of one prideful.
Sin my center,
The world entered;
Heart of blackness,
Pitch’s likeness,
Myself serving
With unswerving
Dedication
And fixation.
Had I chosen
My life’s motion,
I would never
Have surrendered
To my Maker,
Though none’s greater.
Sin my problem,
Awful solemn,
Just wrath due me
Eternally.
God’s solution:
Substitution;
My place taken,
Christ forsaken!
His provision
Grants forgiveness.
Hallelujah!
That God drew a
Wretch like me to
Find him, thē Truth.
Father choosing,
Christ pursuing,
Spirit wooing,
Mercy strewing,
Will subduing,
Heart renewing —
Grace abounding
Most astounding!
From this vantage —
What advantage! —
Blessèd, I am
Justified and
Granted peace with
God! A peace, which,
Re’lized, shall so
Overshadow
Puzzling, troubling,
Fleeting suff’ring.
Oh, the fullness
Of his goodness!
If he punish,
Undiminished
Is his kindness.
This here’s lightness,
If comparèd
What I merit.
To one carnal,
Life eternal
Was appointed.
Is more wanted?
Then I heard it,
These three words — it’s:
“Look to me.” His
Gentle speech is
Strong, compelling,
All-excelling.
Spirit helping,
Head propelling,
In reply I
Raise my eyes by
Faith above these
Treach’rous rough seas.
In the Scriptures
See Christ pictured,
God Almighty,
Shining brightly,
Radiant, for he’s
King of glory,
Dazzling splendent,
Full ascendant,
Independent,
All transcendent,
Yet “God with us,”
Yes, he is thus!
Purest Being,
Rebels seeing,
Taking human
Form — deep union.
Suff’ring mocking,
Shame, and flogging,
The cross bearing,
Life not sparing,
Heaven’s roy’lty
Dying cru’lly,
Wrath divine for
Sin of mine, torn
Curtain showing
Way is open,
Rising proving
God’s approving.
Precious treasure
Beyond measure,
Gentle, lowly,
Yet thrice holy,
Wholly Other,
My faith’s Author
And Perfecter,
Kind Protector,
Surest Anchor
(I’m so thankful),
Lord of armies
Whose strong arm is
Never shortened
To support and
To deliver.
All-good Giver,
Only Savior,
Showing favor,
Friend of sinners,
Freeing prisoners,
Gracious Master
With green pastures
For providing
And delighting.
This God knowing,
Heart o’erflowing!
Have nots, am nots,
Sundry whatnots,
Could be’s, should be’s,
Suchlike would be’s,
And all else too,
None compares to
Knowing Jesus!
Now I see the
Scene more rightly.
E’er keep tightly,
Lord, inside my
Heart and mind’s eye,
Such sights like these,
That I might be
Faithful, joyful,
Godly, hopeful.
In my trials
Show your smile;
So attended,
I’m contented.
Keep me steady
In this duty!
My days numbered,
Soon will upward
Wake from slumber
Unencumbered.
Full conviction:
Through afflictions
Here encountered
I must enter
Jesus’ kingdom.
They each spring from
A hope-stirring
Plan unerring.
Change he’s bringing
When it’s fitting.
On life’s pathway,
With me always
Is the solace
Of his promise:
“I will never
Leave you, ever!”
For me there’s a
Boon: where’er the
Curse invaded,
Grace pervaded.
Doubt eschewing,
Gladly doing
Works the Lord had
Laid beforehand.
Be they smallish,
He’ll accomplish
His end purpose
By true service.
Sometimes stumbling,
Often fumbling,
Though I weary,
Christ is near me,
Grace outpouring,
Soul restoring,
Strength renewing,
Love diffusing,
Setting warmly
Joy before me.
Destination:
Re-creation.
Pleasures waiting,
Onward hasting.
Fixed appointment,
Every moment
One step closer.
Spirits bolstered,
Wants supplied, I’m
Guided by my
Faithful Shepherd,
Heading Heav’nward.

The Christian reader is encouraged: whatever lawful means he may use to better his own situation and such as belong to him, ultimately, to submit to the benevolent providence of God in all things; and also, if he may be so kind, to say a prayer for the author, that he might likewise increase in faithfulness and contentment, for the rest of his days.